No one stared quite as much as I had anticipated they would.  Some little kids at the farmers market pointed and said, "Look!  Roller skates!" but no one seemed to really care as Eric and I sped down the middle of the street at about 15 miles an hour with our dog and the stroller.  
I felt like a "cool" parent in this entourage: Big dog running, Daddy long boarding, Mommy rollerblading, and baby strolling along for the ride.  

At dinner I felt good about Tali not making a mess of the baby back ribs we gave her for dinner.  I laughed and got pretty high watching her slurp down her first spaghetti noodles covered in marinara....  As if these things weren't blessings enough to spoil me rotten, Tali said "Amen" this evening after we prayed.

Eric and I looked at each other as tears welled up.  Eric was a macho man.  He didn't, but it sure looked like he was going to cry.  I wiped off a tear from my face and we clapped our hands and praised her for the new word God had given us.

With all of the important and valuable things that I thought I did today, rolling down the street with my family gang, not cooking, cleaning the laundry room, more success in potty training, helping my husband work on some projects in the yard, "teaching" Tali to eat spaghetti... none of them compare to the important and valuable things that God is doing eternally in the lives of His children.  With Tali closing our prayer tonight, we were blessed to be reminded how valuable our spiritual impact can be, even on a one-year-old.  

Oh God, thank you for this giant responsibility to raise a daughter.  Thank you for encouraging us to tell her about You every day all day long.  Help us to continue to tell her about Your majesty, Your creation, Your power and Your love. Give us wisdom to show her how to thirst for and drink living water.  Give us the strength to live lives that point toward You and make her want to passionately serve You and You alone. Amen.

Galatians 6:9 (NIV) Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

 

My sister was generous enough to watch Tali while I went rock climbing with my brother yesterday. (Yes, my family is awesome like that.) When I got home I asked if Eric was home yet. "Yeah, he's in the back murdering things."

Curious, but somehow not alarmed, I went into the back yard to find my dearly beloved husband with a hose, the dog, and a lot of black tarp and bricks. He had covered over most of the yard with the tarp and bricks and was now attempting to flood out our unwanted underground uninvited guest. The dog was supervising and hoping that a creature would soon emerge for his chasing and possibly killing pleasure. So he was murdering the grass (grass like weeds covering our back yard) and hoping that the dog would help murder our intruder.

We rarely have people over, but of course as soon as we cover the back yard with black tarp my mom, brother, several friends, Tali, and another baby decide it's a good idea to be in the back yard walking around.

If you've been in our backyard, you may remember that there is a fire pit hole in the center of the yard. It's about a foot deep and has about a three foot diameter. The black tarp completely visually covers up this hole.

I tried to warn people not to go to the center of the yard, but sure enough, someone fell in. Thankfully no one has been hurt.

Oh God, help me to listen and be in tune to your warnings. When you set out to destroy the bad and I cannot see what is underfoot, be the lamp to my feet and the light to my path. Thank You Lord!

Psalm 119:105 "Thy word is a lamp into my feet and a light unto my path"

(Thanks Amy Grant for getting this verse stuck in my heart many years ago. Thanks Mom for subjecting me to Amy Grant.)

 
Sunday, the day after the birthday party, we decided that we needed a family nap.  Perfect sabbath activity no?  So we're sleeping, when all of a sudden we hear a thud followed by massive chicken squawking in our backyard (we have 6 chickens).  

Eric hopped out of bed to go assess the situation and make sure that all was well in the hen house.  Several minutes later he returned to bed where I continued to sleep and could care less about what had happened outside.  Since it was an interesting story, Eric decided to share what had happened while I had continued to snooze.  

Now our chickens are fenced into an area at the back of our yard. However, this is no ordinary fence.  This fence was constructed using the old windows from our house.  I wanted to quarantine those little terrors, but I still wanted to watch them run around and point at how silly they were with Tali.  Needless to say, the fence is clear and one can easily see through them.  

Apparently a hawk or some other bird of prey had tried to swoop down and grab a chicken.  Unfortunately for the bird, it flew straight into one of the windows (the thud) and then after regaining its bearings had flown off again leaving a pile of feathers behind.  (Eric said he saw the bird as it was flying off)

Oh God, Thank you for the invisible walls of protection that you have placed around those who love and trust you.  Thank you for caring enough to never sleep through our cries for help.  Thank you for chickens.  Thank you for family nap times.  Hallelujah! Amen

Psalm 33:20 NIV
"We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield."
 

I used to have the perfect body. At the time, I didn't think so... until I gained 50lbs for my baby and lost about 10lbs when she came out. Then I had the perfect baby. Then after about two days, she started grunting and crying. Then after we got used to that she was perfect for a few weeks until she started pooping and puking and crying in a greater capacity. Then I had the perfect boobs, except they would change cup sizes about 4-5 times a day which made wearing a bra ridiculous. Then our baby was perfect until she was about 8 months old and rolled over. Then she was perfect because she still stayed in the general area that she was put.

However, she learned to walk several weeks later. Then she was perfect because she didn't walk very fast and she didn't explore too much. Then she was perfect because she didn't talk back to us or argue with us. Then I got my body back but then my baby decided that my skinnier body was way less fun to cuddle with.

Next she'll be using more words, going to school, making friends, texting, driving, moving out, getting married...

My girlfriend told me that when your baby turns one that there's an overwhelming wave of emotions (as if there weren't enough throughout the whole pregnancy and first year.) She told me that it's a mix of grateful and fearful hallelujahs. Oh how I hate it when I hear the truth.

Basically I've been listening to the lies that my life (or aspects of my life) always used to be perfect and never will be again. The truth is that my life has never been, nor will it ever be perfect on this earth. There are mountains and valleys in each season. There are hopes and dreams to reach for, achieve, and let go of once they've passed.

Shut up devil! I was never perfect. Trying to push me back into the past in an effort to waste my present or future will not work for me today.

Oh God, be strong in my weakness.

Heal my brokenness.

Let me gaze upon your perfection and enjoy Your peace. Let me adore Your majesty and your beauty. Forgive me for offending the past that You have already healed. You are Faithful. You are True. Forgive my blasphemy in thinking any part of me is or ever has been perfect without You. You are my God.

2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

 
A party takes work, time, and a group of people with a common desire to celebrate someone or something.  

We had a birthday party for our one year old today.  It was very very fun.  It was a lot of work.  

First, like any party, there are the invitations.  These are the easiest to get out because of social media networks like Facebook or Evite.  However, this is also tricky because anyone you don't invite has the potential of feeling left out as soon as those pictures get posted from the party.  

Then there is the menu plan.  Pizza.  Not just ordering out, but making dough from scratch.  The grocery list is long, but the ingredients are simple: flour, vegetables, and cheese.

Then there is the shopping.  Planning the perfect time to shop considering baby's nap time and feeling out when Grandpa is feeling the most generous to sponsor part of a trip to Costco. 

(Costco story:  My dad thought it would be cute to let Tali play with his AMEX card while riding in the front of the cart.  It was cute until we filled the cart up and he asked where his card was.  After some emergency prayer request texts to family members my dad asked a manager if anyone had turned in an AMEX card …Praise God my dad got his card back.)

Then there is the prep work.  Veggie prep, dough making, fire prep (for the outdoor pizza oven), lawn mowing, table and chairs set up, awning setup, last minute cleaning, etc… this part takes many hours.

Then friends and family show up.  While we can hope that most of the people at the party are there at your desire, I think it's safe to say that some invitees require just a smidgen more effort to enjoy.  Fortunately, I feel like everyone who came to the party today blessed us very very much.  

Then there's orchestrating what happens when, and who's going to take care of it.  There's food service, prayer, cake cutting, present opening, and lots of introductions to friends meeting family an visa versa.  Thank God she's not old enough for games yet.

Then, after the party, your place is trashed (delightfully and respectfully so if it's not a college party) and it's time to clean up.

The devil is a party pooper.  At each step he will shout party pooping messages. "No one's gonna come to the party this time," or "You shouldn't prepare all this food for people, it's such a waste of your time and resources," or "You should be upset that you have to clean all this up."

With each lie he suggests I counter with my party shield of faith.  "We're gonna have a good time no matter who doesn't come because we're celebrating what the Lord has done" or "preparing all this food for people is a beautiful love offering that will bless them and enrich our fellowship together" or "Thank you Lord that You've given us so much to clean up."

Oh God, You are good.  Thank you for teaching us how to party.  Help us to invite more people to your party because the inviting is easy.  Help us to not get weary in the prep work.  Help us to follow your direction in the challenges of stewardship and clean up so that we may more fully enjoy the glorious party that You are preparing for us.

Ephesians 6:16 NIV In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 

 

I finally I got my husband to read me a devotional by Charles Spurgeon because my girlfriend Molly keeps saying "my buddy Charles says..."

This particular one was a new interpretation of the dreams that Pharoah had at the time of Joseph. In it, Spurgeon talks about the skinny cows eating the fat happy cows.

Now I must interrupt myself to add a cow story from our recent Hawaii vacation. We bought milk. It tasted bad. Not like it had gone bad. It just wasn't very yummy like we were used to back home. Sure enough it was all the way from Texas. Ok, nothing against my Texan friends. I love you all, but us Californians know that happy cows produce the best milk (and cheese of course) and as my sister said after drinking this milk "this was not from a happy cow."

Ok back to Pharoah's/Spurgeon's cows. Spurgeon created the analogy that the dying skinny cows of the world and all it's troubles will always be trying (or succeeding) to devour our fat happy cows of heavenly accomplishments and good things from God.

After Eric read me this devotional I began to wonder where my fat cows were! I was overwhelmed by all that needed to be done, all the progress I wasn't making in the areas that I wanted to, and all I could see were skinny cows eating my fat cows!

I must have had a quite disturbed look on my face, because Eric asked me what was wrong. I asked him, "where are all my fat cows?!?" He pointed at Tali playing quietly in her pack'n'play. There's a fat cow right there.

I smiled. Yes. She is my fat cow.

Oh God help me to focus on the fat cows you have placed in my life. Protect my fat cows from being devoured by skinny dying cows. Thank you for the fat cows of mental health, closeness to you, and physical well being in this season of life.

Genesis 41:4

"And the ugly, thin cows ate up the seven attractive, plump cows. And Pharoah awoke."

 

Eric and I have been praying for this night all week. Praying for parents and babies all over the country and the possible interrupted sleep. Praise God! The fireworks and noisy passersby have not waken her yet. However, burps and our dog barking at a late night visitor have woken her twice this evening.

Even with our best efforts, we can't pray against all evils on our own. Our thought processes and limited comprehension of the spiritual realm stunts our capacity for perfect prayer. Even with our best intentions and hopes to protect ourselves and our children, there is only one sure guarantee that the best and most appropriate prayers will reach the Father's ears.  That is the intercession of Jesus at the right hand of God the Father..

Oh God, I don't know what specific evils to pray against tonight, but I know that You know all things.  I trust that you love me more than I could ever comprehend and I want the best that You have planned for me. Thank You Jesus for interceding for us and giving what we really need.

"Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near
to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for
them." (Hebrews
7:25 ESV)

 

I'm failing to put Tali to sleep.  It's almost 30 minutes past her bedtime and every minute adds one more straw to this camel's back. I sing her all the shield chorus) night sing songs I can remember, alternating parts with each repetition, stroke her side, (often) climb into her
crib with her to hold her down but she still wrestles with me. I disappoint myself when I forget to cherish these opportunities to pray over her, to prophesy good things and blessings over every aspect of her life.

Reminder to self: don't forget tomorrow.

I can let her cry. I do mind letting her cry, but I've done it. I would let her cry it out, but with her enhanced toddler strength and amount of thrashing, she usually ends up with extra bruises on her
head the next morning.  Plus, I like to avoid 45 minutes of screaming
whenever possible.

I climb into her crib and use my body as a human harness to hold her limbs down until she finally relaxes and passes out. Fortunately, this is a quiet process. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a while.

You're married to Eric, have you not asked him to make a harness to
hold her down? Ah yes! I have traveled down that road before. The only
problem is that she is also half Eric and has figured out how to get out of
harnesses that I have put her in. I used some of our climbing webbing to strap my little Houdini down once and she just sat up in bed (still harnessed to the crib) and started wailing. The harness ideas
didn't ever seem like a very safe idea concerning circulation or strangulation... Besides the fact that they didn't hold her down anyways... So we gave up on that idea.

She doesn't want to go to sleep because she doesn't want to miss out.
She doesn't know that sleep is good for her and helps her to grow. She doesn't know that relaxing and going to sleep when I put her down is a blessing to me because it's how I've organized her day. She doesn't want me to leave her because she's afraid that when I've left the room that I've really left her for good.

Fear and lack of understanding are innate.

Oh God, help me to rest in the green pastures that you place me. Help
me to trust and obey when you tell me to sleep. Help me to grow and gain strength as I rest so that I may glorify You in the morning. Remind me that  rest in You means more strength in the shadowy
valleys. Thank you for the nights you hold me down until I sleep. I will try harder to surrender to your plans for me because I know that like You, they are so good!

He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. (Psalms 23:2 NKJV)